She Doesn't Want Me With Her
My wife and I get into arguments sometimes because she likes to go to
clubs. It's not the fact that she goes, it's that she likes to go with
her female friends and I feel left out. Sometimes, I go anyways and
meet her there. She feels as though I'm checking up on her. She says
that when I go she can't have fun. She can't be herself. I don't
understand that. What is it that she is so afraid of that I may see or
not like? I feel like she can't have fun out there with me. I wonder
sometimes if it is because she can't dance with other guys the way she
can when I'm not there. I know she dances with others. Why is this a
problem for me, and should I just let her go alone from now on and go my
own way? That's another thing - I like to go out with her. I have the
most fun that way. When I go out with others it's not the same to me.
So I find myself just sitting at home while she goes out alone with
friends. That's what makes her happy right? What should I do? -She
Doesn't Want Me With Her
Dear She Doesn't Want Me With Her,
I think it's time to get serious with your wife about this situation. You need to let her know how much this is affecting you and your marriage. Over time this can become a huge problem. You shouldn't feel like your wife doesn't want you or doesn't want to be with you. It's great to have nights apart, but when it starts to feel like the time you are spending together is being affected; you need to talk about it. I think finding a compromise to this situation is probably the best solution. Your problem can be handled with a little more focus on your togetherness in your relationship. Arrange for one night a week to be a girls/guys night out and another night of the week to be time just for you two. To keep things from becoming one-sided, take turns planning the night together. One week you plan something, the next week would be up to her. If you turn it into a friendly competition you might end up spending more time together than you had hoped. If you're right about her wanting to get more attention from other guys, this should help you both give each other the attention you both deserve.
I think it's time to get serious with your wife about this situation. You need to let her know how much this is affecting you and your marriage. Over time this can become a huge problem. You shouldn't feel like your wife doesn't want you or doesn't want to be with you. It's great to have nights apart, but when it starts to feel like the time you are spending together is being affected; you need to talk about it. I think finding a compromise to this situation is probably the best solution. Your problem can be handled with a little more focus on your togetherness in your relationship. Arrange for one night a week to be a girls/guys night out and another night of the week to be time just for you two. To keep things from becoming one-sided, take turns planning the night together. One week you plan something, the next week would be up to her. If you turn it into a friendly competition you might end up spending more time together than you had hoped. If you're right about her wanting to get more attention from other guys, this should help you both give each other the attention you both deserve.
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